i am happy ... very happy.. tonight was a drastic change ... from confusing ... to feel like giving up.. den to kaya.. who i think he is joking is actually serious... and den the magic moment came and change me.. from a quite moody girl to a happy girl.. i feel so lucky and happy now...
four words changes everything.. haha.. erm... i was proud of myself.. now a burden is off my shoulder and need not go retest also a burden off.. now my major burden coming up... my final year EXAMS!!! i hope i can really pass and hope that O can support me too. hahaha.. i feel like i was in dream land gg to la la la .. hee :P
Haiz.. these few days i have been camping at home most of the time to do my project.. project.. project.. at least i managed to squeeze out 8 layout and hotel's logo and name.. a sense of satisfaction... i realise at the blink of my eyes.. EXAMS is COMING !!! stress.. my final year exams.. determined whether i can grad or not.. *pray Hard*
seriously i dont know what is wrong with kaya.. suddenly say weird things to me.. dont know is real or joke but i took it as joke... he call me today... say weird things again...
recently, the should i or should i not wirl up again in my mind... i dont really kno w what to do.. or shld i say i am a big retarded silly girl when i met with feelings matter.. ar.. feelings are not thinking cant really control them...but since i make up my decision so i shld follow wisely.... yah.. i must fulfil it... as i was watching the 9pm show... the yi xin and guo bin was arch head enemy den slowly become somesort like buddy and yi xin fallen in love with her so called "buddy" but she scare of reject so she keep avoiding guo bin.. till guo bin realise he also like yi xin and confess to her.. so sweet.. i really hope that i can be like yi xin wor..
i realise buddy pooh is a Mr Nice Guy to me... cox he let everyone depend on him.. those who need him can all depend on him.. so great.. the way he treat his buddy also nice... i feel that.. even IF i like him also wont work out.. so be BUDDY!!! i hv to convince myself that he is MY BUDDY!! i keep thinking what shld i do... to like or to gv up.. finally today i made a decision.. i decided to gv up and be remain as what we are - BUDDIES!!!! after today i will try not to think of lun .. he is MARRIED... OTHER PPL HUSBAND!!!! and dont think too much out of buddy pooh.. cox we are buddy that all.. n that kaya.. haiz... must focus on my exams now...
stupid kaya... skin so thick.. always sweet talk me.. always say those lalala things to me.. -.- seriously, i dont believe what he say to me.. haha..
Finally... managed to changea new skin.. previous skin abit erm... hee XD
The moment i saw this skin.. i fall in love with it.. dont know why.. i like the colours too.. it makes me sip sip with my blog.. hahaha...
indeed i really brekdown after seeing the pic............................. i dont know what to say.... just feeel so shocked... and all the tears jus went out... sourish sad feelings overcome me...... jus keep crying.. while crying.. their wedding image keep on recurring ........ shan look like a princess.. yes.. she is a princess... lun de princess... and i am lun bu yao de ren..... i dont know what to say.... haizzzzzzzzzzzz..........................................................................................................................................
indeed.. i feel a pang of jealousy, envy..... but i must be happy for them right?
hope the prince and the princess live happily ever after...
to me.. you are my impt friend.. thanks to you.. whenever i need help.. you are always there for me... thanks so much.. although to you, those things that u help me.. dosent mean much to u.. but to me, it meant a lot.... u never fail to keep ur positive thoughts away from me... you alway hv the ability to prevent my tears from flowing out... and u r a good pair of listening ear... you teaches me a lot.. listen to me alot.. and i really really appreaciate a friend like you... i really hope that i can pass tmr interview so that i can share with u this good news.... and also i want to pass the interview becox of u.... hee xD
i alway thought today is his wedding.. but i today then realise ytd was it wedding..... i saw dan pics, he took with his friends at lun wedding... but i din lun and shan pic... a pang of sharp pain overcome me... suddenly i feel like crying... that sour sour feeling come out again.... i wonder will i break down if i saw lun wedding photos?
the man i once loved and still love... is married but the bride is not me ... what can i say? nothing ... just gv them my blessings... wad can i do? nothing... just remain in slient and pretend that my heart is not pain..... i jus realise.... i still hv feelings for him........
